What is the sign of a proud man? He never praises anyone-The Zohar, 13th century

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I am increasingly concerned about a society that produces individuals who genuinely believe that if people direct flattery towards them, then they are automatically friends. People are too quick to judge someone "nice" without asking the more difficult question: What proof do I have that this is so? It costs people nothing to compliment one on another person's sartorial choices or one's way of speaking. But, at times, it does cost one even greater to listen and be seduced, particularly by cunning persons who do not have the good of others in mind. Opportunists, social-climbers, and libertines all have one thing in common: their own pleasure. If they can achieve such pleasure at the expense of others then it matters little what they are willing to say in order to get what they want. Lord Chesterfield warns his son (and readers) that one should pay acquaintances with compliments but not confidences. He was insightful enough to advise that we should not share our personal lives with people whom we do not know well. But culture would have us believe today that we should "be honest" which is a silly and repugnant euphemism for being an exhibitionist. We keep things to ourselves because what we value deserves to be shared only in the proper context and it is time that allows us freedom to choose accordingly. I am often taken aback how frequently people really believe that they can rush into relationships because they have met someone with whom they "click", as students have told me. I have also warned them that such a naive approach usually leads to serious disappointment and often, a betrayal of sorts sharp enough to leave people dizzy and unwilling to risk genuine relationships. Can we blame others if we have been too trusting? Should we stop loving because the risk of sustaining injury means risking again and again?