The other day I was dining with a friend who said to me: "I know you will be disappointed..." She recounts a situation with an acquaintance in which she had the option of confronting an issue and avoided doing so. She knows that I prefer it when people confront people who need to be confronted. I don't mean hostile, finger waging stuff, but honest and direct communication. How nice it would be if we did so and lessened our need to speak rudely about the other behind his or her back. Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't resort to the cruel back-stabbing a passive-aggressive culture has finally given itself over to? But then I ask her: "Is she a friend?" And in all honesty, she was not going to be. Granted that initially, my friend thought she could be friends with this other woman but as it turns out, she has realized that this potential friend had little potential. So I explained that we only offer serious feedback or criticism to people who matter to us. We do not help people who have not merited our assistance merely because they are there. Why should we waste precious energy to offer something which may not be welcome? What is relationship if we cannot hear something truthful about ourselves? But an ego-weak culture struggles to hear the honest review. Meanwhile, more and more folks tune into shows which advocate direct feedback: Dr. Phil, American Idol, etc. People clamor for feedback so long it is not directed at themselves...so what of the soul if it rots against its own indolence. Why stand before a mirror if one cannot see what is reflected back?