Lynne Sharon Schwartz, contemporary novelist, once wrote a marvelous essay titled, "Absence Makes the Heart" in which she chronicles the demise of a once close friendship because the woman in question could not stay in touch with her. She asks the friend to work to remain connected but the friend claims that being apart is too painful and therefore, she can only talk when she comes into town and then, she expect Schwartz to "pick up" where they left off. Schwartz observes that her frustration lies partly with her friend's inability to understand that when people do not remain in contact with one another, that events take place which friends do not know about and as a result, a friend may not be aware of the subtle changes happening to her friend. Schwartz struggles to remain in contact with this friend and she even struggles to keep the friendship. Ultimately, she chooses to keep it because she believes that the friendship is worthwhile but she also adjusts to the friend's demands and interacts with her on the terms her friend has stipulated. It is difficult not to see Schwartz' decision as giving in but her essay might also be a mature reflection on accepting what our friends can give us. It is possible that we will drift from some relationships and those relationships will not be as "close" given the distances people find between one another. Among the more painful realities of life is that friendships do change. But does the friendship have to collapse completely or can it be reconstituted in a new way, a different way of relating. Can people accept that friendships change? Change is painful and a comfortable friendship, like a familiar piece of furniture, once changed, can feel like a betrayal. Where did it go? One wonders. Why are we not the same anymore?